Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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