I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I did not marry a roomba.
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