if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
These tits shall not be calmed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
