They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
