no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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