Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Someone signed my nipple.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
