No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
