How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
