My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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