i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my poor anus
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
soo... how was my night?
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