I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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