I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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