I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
