bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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