Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
