There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize