We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
