it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
