Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
