Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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