Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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