Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
