Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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