Do you still have your period?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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