now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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