you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
