She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
