Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
