Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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