omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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