My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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