i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
