yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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