i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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