Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there is puke in my bra ... again
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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