I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
