don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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