Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
