Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
