Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
