Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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