You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
