You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
