it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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