It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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