Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
