My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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