I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
