why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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