Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
