Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
