That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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