My balls are so social today.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
