Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
