I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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