So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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