my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize