and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
