Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
