i think my mom watched the whole time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize