he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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